The Transformation, from there to here.
The Transformation from there to here, was the biggest and most intense journey of me life. I think it is a gift that we don't always know what lies before us, if we didn't or if I did I wonder if I would have gone through with the decision I made, which was to relocate to Morocco? It seemed like the most sensible solution, knowing that Kamal wouldn't be himself in Canada, I feared he would loose what I loved about him...his vast desire for simplicity and freedom...the possibilities that the desert holds for him and many Berbers in Morocco. I, on the other hand, felt that I could adapt.
While grateful for my Canadian passport and the ability I have to roam freely, I didn't have a deep connectedness to our North American culture. In Vancouver we are so multi-ethnic, that it is hard to decipher what in fact our culture actually is? Three years prior I was in the process of relocated to Amsterdam and I had sold my home and most of my belongings...but it is amazing what you can gather and collect in such a short time...so much bloody, cool stuff! I had actually stopped purchasing things from my travels in the past few years as I realized that the cool "things" were actually a sad replacement for what I really yearned for...to go again, to get lost in another culture, world and way I was existing.
The process itself, disturbing in the challenges of letting go of certain things, my atelier and art supplies...HUGELY hard!! Books were and still are heartbreaking...travel finds + textiles from around the globe, are still in boxes somewhere? Another story, the placement or misplacement of stuff, when what you organized got changed due to a communication error, leaving you in a place of realizing that all the energy that was expended in sorting and packing could have probably gone to better use considering those treasures whatever they were, may never be unearthed again.. lol!! When you get the news of what you had planned didn't happen when you are already on route in-between planes in Eastern Canada...nothing you can do but let it go, this is what this is all about anyway, right? The letting go of stuff, things, patterns, ways of being...if I had only known that truly the stuff was going to be the easiest to let go of....the base that you didn't realize you needed, suddenly seemed essential to my very existence once I had landed here in Morocco, with none of my stuff, life, people, or so very ordinary ways of being.
Arrival Casablanca, gathering your luggage of 3 large bags, yes 3...for a gypsy that flies around the world with a carry on for 6 weeks at a time...this was outrageous, but faced with letting some of these belongings go, it seemed necessary!! Did I say I started with 2large suitcases but they were over weight so I had to purchase a very expensive and crappy bag at the airport and re pack and pay for an extra suitcase that was still overweight...if I knew then what I knew now, I would have ditched the whole lot!! You see most of what I have being a creative, a stylist, are of a certain standard and while seeming so very necessary while wandering in urban locations...well that just isn't at all the situation here in the desert ha!!! Not in the least...while I can be at home with my comfy studio clothes on, the need for anything more, is well, just silly..in fact the energy in trying to keep the sand out of them and store the load of designer clothes is a sitcom in and of itself...if I could tell you the half of the ridiculousness and what a burden, this stuff (clothes)are...the Nomad, thinks I am mad, that is for certain, always looking for baskets, or containers to hold things that I don't even wear...from his culture looking at this self imposed stress that I am in trying to manage these THINGS.....
As an artist isn't that part of the job requirement, being slightly insane or little eccentric, cray - cray...anyway? Did I mention that since I have arrived here the weather has been hovering around 45 - 49 degrees, the need for clothes, other than for not exposing yourself to others or burning to a crisp in the harsh climate... fashion my friend is strictly useless in the desert, during the summer anyway. Looking forward to what I may be able to salvage for fall in my sand laden suitcases, if and when it cools off enough to care about what I look like, breathing has been my main goal during my time thus far!
Looking forward to what I can wear next -